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Table of Contents

• ↓ Review: The Creator is high-end, low-tech sci-fi with middling ambitions
• ↓ Review: Jackass Forever is a healing balm for our bee-stung ballsack world
• ↓ Review: Black Widow adds shades of grey to the most interesting Avenger
• ↓ Review: Fast & Furious 9 is a bloodless blockbuster Scalextric
• ↓ Review: Wonder Woman 1984 is here to remind you about idiot nonsense cinema
• ↓ Review: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm arrives on time, but is it too little, or too much?
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"Apologetically plonked at the end of the September release schedule like a $100m afterthought, Gareth Edwards' The Creator is a movie that does a lot with a little, although that should be no surprise to anyone familiar with the director's prudent knack of making movies that look twice as expensive as they actually are. His first movie since Star Wars spin-off Rogue One - that rare Disney-era Star Wars feature that is universally beloved - Edwards finds himself back on imperious form, crafting a zeitgeisty tale about the dangers of A.I. that couldn't be more timely if it were written by ChatGPT itself."

"You may have noticed that film reviews, or indeed content of any kind, has been few and far between on the ridiculous pages of this site recently, but every now and then a film comes along that is so powerful, so commanding of the cultural zeitgeist, that it just simply can’t be ignored. This is that film. Jackass Forever is a movie that provides the relief we so desperately need following two years of global hardship. It’s a solution for the general societal malaise from which we’re all suffering. It might even hold the cure for the coronavirus itself. And all it took was a lot of dicks and balls getting hit, bitten, stung and punched."

"People sure like to bitch about Marvel movies, huh? You've got the usual Film Twitter snobs, writing them off as "films for children". You've got the hard nerd right, who never met a female character they couldn't belittle. You've got the cinema purists, claiming they represent everything wrong with cinema and that Disney are sounding the death knell for the industry. We are now, what, 24 movies into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (I'm not checking, I refuse to check) and it's never been easier to write a review of a Marvel movie - just reapply the same argument you did on the previous 23 films, file copy, commence smugness. People like to say the Marvel production line creates "cookie-cutter" movies, like that's somehow a bad thing. What, you don't like fucking cookies now? Enjoy your gluten-free artisanal crackers you tedious bores, because Black Widow is a triple-chocolate chunk cookie of a movie and it goes down real easy."

"Is there any point in bothering to review a film like Fast & Furious 9? Its very existence is a middle finger to anyone who genuinely considers themselves to be a 'film critic' - even its title feels like the sort of cute background gag you'd see in Back To The Future II, a sly crack at Hollywood's over-reliance on familiar formula. Let me rephrase my original question: is there any point in me bothering to review a film like Fast & Furious 9? The answer is yes, thank you very much, because I haven't reviewed a film since 2019 and I couldn't imagine booking an easier comeback gig. It's a big stupid target for someone like me to take cheap potshots at and at the same time feel good about myself for ultimately giving it a positive review, as per the will of the people. Everybody wins! Except the criminals."

Key Topics & Focus Areas for theshiznit.co.uk:

Review: The Creator is high-end, low-tech sci-fi with middling ambitions

Review: Jackass Forever is a healing balm for our bee-stung ballsack world

Review: Black Widow adds shades of grey to the most interesting Avenger

Review: Fast & Furious 9 is a bloodless blockbuster Scalextric

Review: Wonder Woman 1984 is here to remind you about idiot nonsense cinema

Review: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm arrives on time, but is it too little, or too much?